I cannot put into words the emotions I felt when I first got accepted to be a part of this trip, though I will try. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
It was when I was about twelve or thirteen years old when I was first introduced to anime by a friend. Silly as it may be, that was what sparked my interest in Japanese culture and language. That honestly was where my desire to go to Japan began. Unfortunately, at the time, I didn’t have the means or opportunity to actually go. I daydreamed about it often and researched for countless hours, just hoping and praying for that opportunity. In the meantime, I had anime to watch, took some language classes, and even got to befriend an exchange student from Japan my sophomore year of high school.
It wasn’t until my sophomore year of college that it finally happened. After eight to nine years of waiting, you couldn’t imagine the exhilaration I felt when I heard a program had opened up! This one was different from the other programs I was interested in, which were language or school exchange programs. This one was through the organization Youth With A Mission, also known as YWAM. In a nutshell, YWAM is a worldwide Christian organization that desires to “know God and make Him known”, by equipping students with the knowledge and skills they need to spread the Gospel. Everyone has different personalities and areas they thrive in so YWAM focuses on each individual’s strengths so that they not only share about Christ with others but enjoy it! Take me for example; I would thrive a lot better working in the background on projects than I would in say childcare; or one-on-one/small group as opposed to a large group setting.
It was about a year or so ago that I started monitoring the YWAM programs in Japan to see when they would open back up since they were closed for a couple of years. Sure, a year may be a long time but I felt like I needed to be persistent and trust God that an opportunity would arise. Then, in October (when I should have been working on homework), I checked the website again and was pleasantly surprised. The program had been reinstated! After sharing the news with my family and praying over it, I applied almost immediately. About a month later, I was accepted! I was ecstatic and kept thanking God over and over that He was leading me here!
But then came the daunting task: financial preparation.
A little background before I get into it. At about the same time I applied to the program, my family and I were in the process of moving. Because of moving, I had to leave my previous job working at my university's library and was planning on finding work in the new area I was going to be living in. I was finishing up my classes too. So a lot of change was happening in a short amount of time. However, with leaving the country in just a few months, it was becoming increasingly difficult to find a temporary job. I was also feeling like God was calling me to volunteer more with Mosaic, a campus ministry I was growing closer with. I was in a real dilemma and was stressing over what to do: to hopefully find a full-time job but not be as involved with the organization, or volunteer full-time with them and not have a job. I kept praying, talking to mentors, and wrestling with myself on what the right decision was.
God was telling me but I was too afraid to listen. He wanted me at Mosaic, to go into full-time support raising and not work.
I couldn’t help but think, “I’m sorry, but what?! How am I going to get the funds I need for this trip? It’s really expensive, God, and I already don’t have much money of my own. Doesn’t it seem foolish to not earn the money I need by having a guaranteed paycheck by working? I trust You but I don’t understand.”
That’s when God (repeatedly) said to me, “Is anything too hard for the Lord? Stop worrying and just let Me take control, Amanda.” He kept telling me to read Matthew 6: 25-34, which is the “worry chapter” in the Bible. As someone who deals with chronic anxiety, I read this passage often, and once again, God was pointing me back to it with my worry over finances. He also reminded me that I have been praying to let Him completely control my life and rely solely on Him. I guess I got what I was praying for.
It made me also realize that I was relying more on myself than on God to provide. How am I going to gather the funds? How am I going to make sure I have all I need for this trip? “How am I” this and “How am I” that. I don’t know about you, but that sure is a lot of I’s! When I came to this realization, I decided that I was going to stop clinging to control and let God take the reins to guide me through this. It was when I stopped being the driver and became the passenger that I felt more at peace with the decision to not work a typical, 9-5 job to earn the funds needed for this trip. Though, this didn’t mean I could just sit back, relax and watch the money fall right into my lap. Just like how God provided manna for the Israelites while they were wandering through the desert, they still had to put in work to collect it. In the same way, I have to do my share of work while God provides for my needs.
At the beginning of this post, I mentioned the words “support raising” and you may or may not be scratching your head wondering, “What does she mean by that? Is it a sort of fundraising?” In a way, yes it is, but it goes beyond just regular fundraising methods where someone donates and that is the end of it. It is very relationship-driven, where ministry workers (like myself) not only invite others to be their supporters in some capacity but also take a genuine interest in each of their supporters. This involves things such as letter writing, setting up appointments for face-to-face interactions, keeping others involved with your ministry, and so on. Because I don’t know about you, I would like to see what my investments are going towards and the fruit it produces!
I was introduced to this method by a couple of mentors of mine, who learned about it through a book called, “The God Ask” by Steve Shadrach. Great book, by the way. This tool is what they have utilized themselves in their own ministry, which is completely support driven! I will admit, I was a bit skeptical of the book at first because, to me, it felt wrong, even shameful, to have my ministry completely supported by others, and with no guaranteed paycheck every two weeks that I worked hard for. I’m not saying if you work for your ministry finances that you are “ungodly” or that it is "unbiblical" to work; what I am saying is that it is okay and encouraged to request support if that is what God is calling you to do. Because newsflash: it’s not just between you and God. It’s between you, God, and others.
There were a couple of things that seemed to jump off those pages for me when I was reading this book. One was its opening question: If you could press a button and have unlimited funds so you never had to work and worry over your finances again, would you press it? At first, that seemed like a no-brainer. DUH! Who wouldn’t want that? Especially in this economy! I could also not worry about mission trip costs and be able to reach even more people. Count me in!
Man, how foolish I was. Sure, you may be able to cover every cost and be able to live a luxurious lifestyle easily, but there is absolutely no satisfaction in not working toward your wages and goals. It also breeds laziness and greediness, which I think we can all agree are not good traits! Ever heard of the phrase, “Quality over quantity?” That is absolutely true and how I feel about the support raising for this trip. I’d rather spend time and energy getting to know my supporters, working together with them, and including them as much as they desire than just simply receiving donations and support and that be the end. When I was asked the same question at the end of the book, my answer changed to And miss out on the opportunity to build relationships and share journeys together? To miss out on the chance to support each other? No way, count me out! And let me tell you, it is so much more rewarding being this involved with my supporters than simply accepting donations.
Another phrase that spoke to me while I was reading “The God Ask” was that God is not limited by money.
Wow, talk about a slap in the face.
I had to actually put my book down! I obviously knew this, because I know that nothing can limit God, but to actually practice it and believe it? It was an eye-opening moment for me that made me realize that I subconsciously thought it was too much for Him because it came from my own insecurity about money. Yikes! Thank goodness I serve a loving and forgiving God! I immediately stopped and begged for forgiveness and asked God to reshape the way I think about money and receiving money.
God completely changed my philosophy regarding fundraising and money. Before I had the mentality of I need to do everything on my own, or it’s shameful to request donations when I should be pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. Talk about being prideful! Some of it came from living in a nation where individualism is ingrained into our culture. Don’t get me wrong, individualism is great and there is definitely a place for it! However, if you are completely individualistic, never turning to anyone for anything no matter how bad things get, always putting up a mask to hide your hardships, it creates a very lonely and pessimistic life. It can build up inside to the point of even making you sick. You see, Satan's goal is to isolate us from others and especially from God, to make us feel we are all alone. God on the other hand wishes to bring us community and have relationships with Himself and others so that we know we are never alone. This includes financial burdens we may put on ourselves, especially those involving mission trips.
Again, I am not saying that you shouldn’t work, earn your wages, and have goals. I am also not saying that you can simply ask for financial assistance if you are going to be lazy and not actively pursue some goal. What I am saying is that it is okay for you to request support for your ministry and invite others to be a part of it if that is something God wants you to do.
Plus, if I had never changed my mentality, I wouldn’t have been able to include as many people as I have already to be a part of this journey! I can attest to saying that this approach is much more fulfilling than any other fundraising method I’ve known. Not every supporter is able to participate in the financial side of this mission to Japan, but they have spiritually and/or emotionally supported in some way, which is something that money can’t buy.
As we come to a close, let me ask you this: would you want to receive a gift from someone who felt like they were forced to give? Of course not! That completely disregards the purpose of a gift! We desire for people to want to give rather than have to give. That’s why when I sent my letters out to supporters, I invited them to be a part of my trip to Japan, with no expectations on their part. I want people to be a part of this adventure, but if they wish to toss my letter, that is their choice and I completely respect it. But for those who are interested and want to see where their financial, spiritual, or emotional support is going (or are just plain curious), I’ve created ways for people to stay connected, like this blog and social media accounts. My hope is not only will readers be entertained by the things I experience in this foreign country, but that they will learn what I am learning and see God working in my life, the lives of people I will be sharing the Gospel with, and in their own life.
You may be asking, “So Amanda, are you nervous about this trip and all the preparations before you go?” Absolutely, though I have an underlying sense of peace in my heart. How? Because I completely trust that the Lord will provide for me and that He has a wonderful plan in store, no matter how unknown it may be. He has already been providing for not only my financial needs but He has taken all these years to shape me into who I am today so that I am spiritually, mentally, and emotionally prepared for this trip. After all, He knows my needs better than I do and His timing is always perfect.
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